I’ve been pissed off. I’ve been feeling disconnected. Not in any way I’m sure wouldn’t resonate with anyone reading this. If you were at all present for the past year, you’ve been struggling. Loss isn’t unique to anyone’s story. But I hated 2020 for taking my mom. Then I hated 2020 for taking away our ability to grieve the loss as a family. I found so much growth in 2020, but then 2021 came + with it the reminder of all that was taken. January 7th arrived + it was officially a ‘new year.’ A new year without my mother. I stayed in bed. Frozen. Feeling small. 2021 wouldn’t, couldn’t undo the pain of 2020. 2021 won’t bring her back. I wanted to curl into a ball + stay there.
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But then a memory has been replaying a lot for me lately. She likely won’t remember it, but about a decade ago, a couple years after losing my dad, I took class with the inimitable @namarupa23 where she focused on back bending. A simple enough theme. But as we reached back, she led us through a thought exercise… Reach back physically. Reach back emotionally. Reach back spiritually. Reach back to the people + things that are behind us but still with us – because they are a part of us. Reach back to move forward.
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I cried that day. And I let go.
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Don’t close off, luv. Stay open to the beauty that remains + continues to reveal itself… if you’re open to it. Move.
Happy New Year.
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#newyear #selfcompassion #griefandloss #mymovementpractice #yogawheel #backbending



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